


Endlessly returning to the same thing, Can't live without you

by The_MESSENGER



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, NCT Dream is also in here, Romance, lazy tagger, yutae
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-10-28
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:32:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9822800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_MESSENGER/pseuds/The_MESSENGER
Summary: “And I know you still love Ten.  I know that but- but even if just for a second, please look my way.  Because I’ll do my best from now on.”





	1. Look my way

There was an odd air in the room, or, maybe it was just Taeyong. The said boy grunts as feels Doyoung’s weight on his left side, an aftermath of Ten attempting to do a backwards handspring in the small area of Youngho’s living room and instead of landing on the other side of the room, near a much safer pile of pillows, he instead opted to land right on an unsuspecting Doyoung who then crash landed onto Taeyong.

“Fuck,” Taeyong mutters as Doyoung and Ten burst into a fit of giggles, the alcohol in Doyoung’s cup splashing onto his shirt, soaking the front side of his shirt and leaving a slight golden colored stain. The profound sound of Jaehyun apologizing on behalf of Doyoung is pushed to back of his head from a sight of Ten, whose head somehow found his way onto Taeyong legs. Ten is holding his stomach from laughing and Taeyong takes it all in. His heart races as Ten’s eyes crinkle into that eye smile and he loves so much, the sound of his laugh the makes Taeyong’s legs weak and knees buckle.

And for a second, Taeyong forgets about the party. He forgets confessing to the Thai boy a week ago, he forgets the pain in his chest when he’s faced with polite rejection, he forgets then encouraging Ten to confess to Youngho, he forgets the lump in his throat when their group of friends congratulate the newly formed couple two day later, and he forgets the genuine looks of thanks when Ten approaches him later for giving him confidence. But the moment is short lived as Youngho steps over and Ten, limp and hysteric just a moment ago, launches himself into Youngho’s waiting arms.

Youngho looks sheepish as he see’s the state Taeyong was in, shirt wet and hair disheveled as his side continues to be hit by Doyoung, Jaehyun failing to pull his boyfriend away. “Sorry dude”.

Taeyong manages a smile, “It’s not a problem, you got any extra spare clothes though?”

“Yeah, it’s upstair in the spare room. Yuta knows where it is.”

Youngho beckons over Yuta, who was standing near the wall laughing with Hansol and Taeil as they watched Jaehyun suffer, trying to console Doyoung who was just in a laughing fit and was now crying, begging Jaehyun not to break up with him (as if the younger ever would). The japanese boy looks up, says something to the two standing beside him and walks over, nearly stepping on WinWin and Kun who were passed out on the floor.

“Could you show Taeyong where I put the extra clothes?”

“You mean the clothes that you won from the Daddy Long Legs contest last month?”

Taeyong snorts into his hand as the image of Youngho and nine other tall boys model off their legs in black tights to the entire student body, making an array of different poses that Yuta still hasn’t let him live down.

“Would you stop talking abo- you know what you’re just jealous that my thighs-”

Yuta’s laugh interrupts the tallers rant, and before Youngho could continue, Taeyong is being ushered up the stairwell by Yuta and pushed into the dimly lit room at the end of the hallway. Yuta shuts the door behind them, the two still laughing as they hear Youngho continue to complain about the contest.

Taeyong turns to grin at Yuta who’s doubled over and shaking from laughing to hard. “You’re never gonna get over it are you?” The other straightens up, his smile still on his face, “Never.”

Yuta brushes past him towards the medium sized dresser in the corner of the room closest to the window, the hinges on it creaking as Yuta tugs it open and pulls out a black t-shirt that says ‘I’ll be there for the grand opening- of your legs’ and tosses it to Taeyong. “They really did a deal on your shirt didn’t they?” Yuta’s eyes crinkles in amusement and Taeyong relishes in the easy atmosphere that was always there when he was around Yuta. There were ten people in their circle of friends, forming their group in the start of highschool when coincidently, they all had gotten locked in the shower room after gym class. And it’s hard not to become close after hanging out half naked for two hours.

But he had known Yuta for much longer, since he was six and had been fascinated by the same aged boy who had just moved in next door, speaking a different language while hiding behind his mother's skirt when Taeyong and his parents had gone over to welcome them. It wasn’t until he saw a crying boy, pushed into the sand in the playground by three bullies and being made fun of for being unable to speak korean that Taeyong had decided to become Yuta’s friend, stalking over to the leader of the three boys and socking him right in the face. Yuta stuck to him like glue after the incident, holding the back of Taeyong’s shirt wherever they went and calling Taeyong “Hero” for the next year while Taeyong made his own nickname for him: Yukkuri. By the time they were both seven, Yuta had fully learned korean and (un)fortunately figured out that Taeyong’s name wasn’t actually Hero and that now that he could speak korean he didn’t need to stick to Taeyong like a leech and follow him around everywhere. But by that time, the two had already become best friends and did that sort of stuff anyways, whether or not Yuta could speak korean or not. 

“Yeah they did, Ten’s really too much” and without realizing so, Taeyong lets out a low, bitter sounding chuckle that had it been anyone but Yuta, they would’ve brushed over it, not realizing the pain behind it.

The silence that follows is suffocating, Yuta is looking at the floor as Taeyong changes and makes it hard to distinguish his expression. 

“Doesn’t it hurt?”, Yuta clears his throat, “Seeing Ten and Youngho together and what not.”

Taeyong smiles, “You’re always asking questions you already know the answer to.” Yuta frowns, clearly dissatisfied with his answer. 

“I know. It’s just-” he huffs, “It’s just that I want you to be happy. That’s all”

Taeyong grins, wide and bright. Because it's rare that Yuta looks the way he does right now, cheeks red and worry etched onto his face. It’s a side of him that only Taeyong gets to see and a stark difference from the usually easygoing, sarcastic Yuta. By this time, Yuta is sitting, back to the wall and knees pulled up to his chest and Taeyong strides over to him. He kneels in front of the Japanese boy and pinches his cheeks. 

“So cute Yukkuri, I didn’t know you worried about me.” A teasing edge laced through his voice as he see’s Yuta redden up even more, hand raising to slap at the fingers pulling at his cheeks. 

“Stop it”, It sounds more like a child whining to Taeyong as he leans back and sits in front of Yuta. It’s silent again and Taeyong just stares at Yuta who picks at the edges of the oversized sweater that he had taken from Taeyong’s closet a few week back, never bothering to return it. It's now that Taeyong realizes that Yuta seemed a bit more disturbed that usual. He continues to keep his head low, refusing to look Taeyong in the eyes but Taeyong recognizes the dismal aura extruding from his best friend who suddenly looks much smaller than usual.

“How’d you do it?” Taeyong hears Yuta talk quietly and leans forward so he could hear better, only to have the other press harder into the wall. “How were you able to confess to Ten… even though you knew that he loved someone else?”

The question caught Taeyong off guard and he leaned back thoughtfully. He’d never bothered to ask himself why. Yes, he knew Ten loved Youngho. Everyone knew. Ten had loved Youngho since he laid eyes on him, tall and charming whilst calling his mother to tell him that some idiot had gotten them locked into the boy's shower room. And for five years after, after their high school graduation, after admittance into college, Taeyong continued to love the Thai boy. He loves the way Ten would greet him with a small hug, he loves the way Ten danced; fluid and confidently, he loves the boy’s small hands that would delicately find their way to Taeyong’s when they would walk home together after dance class, he loves-

He loves Ten.

“It’s because I love him.”

Yuta looks up, eyes glossy, and surprised with the others answer. Taeyong stares into space, a meaningful thought in his eyes. 

“And it was my way of letting go.” This makes Yuta even more confused as he shifts awkwardly to the side, around Taeyong and getting up. 

“I don’t understand. Saying I love you means letting go?”

“No”, Taeyong shakes his head, “It’s just what it mean in that situation. My situation. That’s all”

Yuta only nods, a look on his face that Taeyong can’t quite put his thumb on. Suddenly, Taeyong notices that Yuta is tapping his fingers along the hem of his sweater, a constant rhythm that reminds Taeyong that Yuta only does that when he’s hiding something. And Taeyong was about to confront the Japanese boy until Yuta finally opens his mouth, his voice barely audible.

“Does this mean I have a chance?”

“What?” And instantly Taeyong is on his feet, staring incredulously at Yuta who, startled by the outburst, stumbles back and makes a beeline towards the door, Not leaving, but placing his body in front of it in means of an escape. Taeyong slowly advance towards him, face apologetic but curious and shocked. “Yuta, did you just-”

“Don’t!” By this time, Taeyong had just gotten in front of the other, intentions of talking to Yuta cut off by the other boy's hand covering his mouth. “I don’t wanna hear the response. I mean- I didn’t- it just came out and I wasn’t supposed to say that but I just have loved you for the past ten years and I’m sorry if you feel pressured right now but I- I just-,” he pauses, eyes reaching up to look into Taeyong round orbs, “I wanted you to look at me like that. That look you have when you talk about Ten.”

There’s something in Taeyong’s stomach that churns when he see’s Yuta. Red faced and strong determination in his eyes. But then he feels a squeeze in his heart as Yuta’s eyes begin to fill with tears. Yuta panics and hurriedly uses his other hand to wipe away the tears that had appeared.

“And I know you still love Ten. I know that but- but even if just for a second, please look my way. Because I’ll do my best from now on.” Before Taeyong could even respond, Yuta lightly shoves him backwards and runs out of the room, leaving a very conflicted, blushing Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first official Yutae fanfic!!
> 
> I have another called "Mirabilia" and in that one, Yuta is supposed to end up with Johnny but I'm such Yutae trash, I'm not sure I can do it lol
> 
> If you see any problems with the grammer or something else, please don't hesitate to tell me :)
> 
> Thank you very much <3


	2. I love you (but your brother is annoying)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Donghyuck is at the top of the food chain

To say the rest of the night was awkward was an understatement. Yuta avoided Taeyong like he was the plague and stuck to Hansol like a leech, even when Taeil expressed his confusion by Yuta’s behavior, because Yuta had always taken the chance to be by Taeyong’s side when possible. In the end, he figured something must’ve happened between the two and allowed Yuta to monopolize his boyfriend. Just this one time.

Before they knew it, it was already around four in the morning and Taeyong, still a bit stunned made one more attempt to approach the cause of his apprehension. Yuta couldn’t drive. Taeyong remembers patting the other on the back when he had failed his driver's test. Twice. So usually the boy either took the bus or hitched a ride with Taeyong everywhere. This was the case for Youngho’s party as well. And honestly speaking, Yuta never rode the bus much anyways.

“Ready to leave, Yuta?” Taeyong watched as Yuta visually flinched at the sound of his voice, his guard down because he had been watching Jaehyun attempt to seatbelt Doyoung into the passenger seat of his car. Yuta turned to Taeyong cautiously, “I’ll walk home. It’s okay”

“It’s raining outside. And it looks like it’s about to start thundering as well.”

“... I love the rain.”

“You’re afraid of thunderstorms.”

Yuta’s face falls, obviously aware that he lost. And without responding, he puts on his shoes and heads out the door towards Taeyong’s car.

 

\---

 

The majority of the ride was in silence. And it was suffocating. If there was anything Yuta loved, it was talking. And if there was anything Taeyong loves (besides Ten), it would be listening to Yuta talk. Energetic and bright, hands everywhere while his hair bounced. But the only sounds Yuta made where whimpers every time lightning struck and thunder sounded. When Taeyong reached his hand over to set his hand on the others shoulder as a sign of comfort, Yuta only shifted away, pretending not to notice the pang of hurt that flashed across Taeyong’s face.

Youngho’s house was only ten minutes away from theirs and Taeyong swerved the car slowly, pulling into the driveway of his house. Neither of the two got out at first, the air thick with tension. Raindrops pelted the outside of Taeyong’s car and he could hear shaky breathing even with all the noise. Then, after fifteen minutes of just sitting in the car, he heard Yuta mumble a quick thanks and grip the door handle, about to leave.

“Wait”, Taeyong’s hand reaches out and latches onto Yuta’s wrist, pulling the boy softly back into the seat. “Let’s talk. Please.”

Taeyong gives Yuta his best puppy eyes, the one he always uses when he wants something and the one that Yuta can never resist. He see Yuta furrow his eyebrows. Yuta lets out a huff and sinks back in the seat, pulling the sleeves of Taeyong’s sweater around him. Taeyong doesn’t let go of Yuta’s hand, afraid he might try to run. Instead of pulling it away like Taeyong thought he would, Yuta lets him rub circles into the back of his hand.

“I’ve hurt you haven’t I?” Taeyong speaks softly, already knowing the answer to the question. He feels Yuta tense up and continues. “I was selfish wasn’t I? I didn’t know- I mean you were always by my side but I didn’t expect that… it was like this. I always talked about Ten to you, not realizing that I was actually hurting you.” Taeyong lets out a bitter laugh. “I’m surprised you don’t hate me.”

Yuta is looking at him now, dark brown orbs staring Taeyong straight in the eyes. Not a single trace of hatred and Taeyong feels embarrassed because Yuta is looking at him with such affection in his eyes and he gulps when Yuta takes his face in his hands. Yuta’s hands are warm and soft as they hold Taeyong’s face, pulling Taeyong slightly closer so that he would even be able to count Yuta’s long eyelashes.

“I could never hate you.”

For a second, Taeyong thinks that Yuta is about to yell out _“SIKE BITCH”_ and head butt him into oblivion, but the latter only continues to gaze at him. Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion.

“But like… I’m in love with Ten.”

 _I am such a dumbass_ , Taeyong thinks to himself as the words leave in mouth unprocessed. He hesitantly looks at Yuta, part of him afraid that he’ll see his friend cry again because of him. But instead of tears, Yuta’s eyes are crinkled in slight amusement and his voice has a light sound to it.

“And I’m in love the Taeyong who says the wrong things at the same time.” Yuta laughs as Taeyong deflates and shrinks back as if waiting for his death. “But I’m also in love with the Taeyong that’s in love with Ten.”  
Taeyong can only stare with wide eyes as Yuta leans back, still smiling, opens the car door and steps out.

“Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Yuta crosses over to his house, which is on the right side of Taeyong’s house. He stops at his door step briefly and turns to wave at Taeyong, then promptly steps inside.

Taeyong’s not sure how to react, but his face is warming up and he thinks to himself _I don’t deserve a friend like Yuta_.

 

\---

 

“Today’s your last day of break right?”

“Yeah.”

“Thank god.”

Taeyong narrows his eyes at his younger brother, Donghyuck, who is currently in the process of stuffing his face with pancakes. “I’m glad you’re gonna miss me so much.”

Donghyuck only shrugs, “No offence, but I’ve been living the dream as an only child and am on a one way trip to getting your old room along with the tv in it.” The younger boy continues to look passive as Taeyong tries not to look offended. It’s at times like this that he reminisces the times where Donghyuck was still little and would cling to him or run to his bedroom to sleep with his dearest hyung because he was scared of the dark. Taeyong looks over to Donghyuck who then realizes that he’s staring at him. Then, promptly raises his hand to give Taeyong the middle finger.

Yeah, Taeyong really misses those days.

They’re silent for a while. Preoccupied with eating what their mother had made them.

“So how’s your one-sided love hyung?”

Taeyong is so startled that he chokes on the glass of milk that he had been drinking. He’s still coughing by the time he turns his head to look at Donghyuck, his voice sounding hoarse. “What?” Donghyuck only rolls his eyes. “You know… Ten and what not. I heard from Mark that Ten and his older brother had recently started dating.”

Donghyuck's voice didn’t sound like he was trying to pry, more like he was curious and with a hint of… concern?

“Yeah”, Taeyong answers, “They’ve started dating.”

Donghyuck only nods, seemingly contempt with the situation. “That really sucks for you-”

“Does your brain have no filter?” Taeyong snaps.

“-but maybe now you’ll take notice of Yuta-hyung.”

Taeyong stares dumbfoundedly at Donghyuck who has the audacity to look nonchalant. “You knew he liked me? He told you? I didn’t even find out until last night-”

“He didn’t tell me.” The younger says quickly before Taeyong could continue.

“Well then how’d you know?”

Donghyuck looks at his brother in mild disgust, throwing up his hands in exasperation. “All these years and you really didn’t know. I thought you were just being an ignorant dick but it turns out you're just dumb.”

Taeyong waves his hand, signaling Donghyuck to answer his question rather than insult him (which was rather rude and made Taeyong even more peeved that his younger brother knew something about his best friend before he did).

Donghyuck frowns at him. “Hyung, did you really expect Yuta-hyung to think of you as “just a friend” after all he’s done for you. I don’t know about you but I would rather die than spend a whole summer with you tracking down limited edition febreze spray bottles.”

Taeyong felt his face heat up. “He said he had a lot of fun!”

“He also told WinWin he was a good cook”, Donghyuck snorts, “sometimes you just gotta get a grip of reality.”  
Taeyong’s about to respond to (or tackle) Donghyuck, but before he can, they hear the front door of their home open and the scuffling of shoes.

Donghyuck shoves Taeyong towards the hallway leading to the front door. “Sounds like Yuta-hyung is here. Go greet him properly. After all, he had the guts to confess to you so don’t even try to avoid him.”

Taeyong scoffs, “I would never.” He gets up, grabbing one of the youngers pancakes on his way out, ignoring the cries of protest behind him. Taeyong walks hurriedly towards the front door because he had completely forgot that he and Yuta had to leave early so Taeyong could be in time for basketball practice.

When he arrives at the front door, he see’s Yuta struggling to lug an at least 75 pound suitcase that looked like it could crush the smaller boy. And for a while, Taeyong stares in amusement. That is until Yuta’s foot hits the edge of the door and nearly topples backwards. Taeyong rushes forwards and wraps an arm around his thin waist, pulling him close to his body. The suitcase topples over to its original place on Taeyong’s porch but he doesn’t really notice it because Yuta’s face is buried into his chest and is at a standstill and for a second, Taeyong wonders if the boy is still breathing. He moves his hand farther around Yuta’s body until his hand in on Yuta’s flat stomach and frowns.

“You’ve gotten skinnier.”

Yuta sucks in a big breath of air and wiggles out of Taeyong’s embrace, obviously flustered. He’s blushing as he tries to babble out a response and nearly loses balance again. Although this time, before Taeyong can reach him, he opts to lean into the wall, using it to steady himself. It’s Taeyong’s first time seeing Yuta like this and he’s baffled to say the least. This was new. Yuta’s face red and stuttering like a main character from a shoujo manga. Taeyong figures that Yuta must’ve been really good at hiding his feelings because skinship wasn’t uncommon between the two, but Yuta’s never reacted like this before.

 _You’re just dumb_ , Donghyuck's voice echoes inside his head and Taeyong almost runs back to the kitchen to beat him up.

He puts his attention back to Yuta, who, ignoring his earlier statement, had given up on grabbing his luggage and was now taking off his shoes. He glances towards the big luggage standing in front of the door like it was his mortal enemy, then his eyes shift towards Taeyong.

“Um… do you mind helping me. Please?” Yuta looks embarrassed, not being able to carry his own luggage and he can’t make eye contact with Taeyong because he knows that Taeyong is just gonna laugh if he see’s his face. Taeyong let’s out a fake sigh, as he slips on his shoes. He would usually tease Yuta at a time like this, but the latter looks so dejected that he decides against it. He walks over to where the suitcase is and picks it up with ease, bringing it towards his car. He hears Yuta call out behind him, promises of helping Taeyong carry his bags later.

 

\---

 

“What’s up Yuta-hyung. I see despite the fact that you confessed, your flirting abilities still suck ass.”

Yuta smiles and Donghyuck thinks he see’s a vein pop on Yuta’s head as the older heads towards him. When Yuta reaches the younger, his voice feigns affection as he stretches his arm out to pinch the younger's cheeks.

“Aw Donghyuck. You get cuter everytime I see you. How’s your relationship going? You and the photo of Mark that you keep under your pillow?”

Yuta let’s go of Donghyuck’s cheek, sucessfully leaving a red mark. Donghyuck looks taken aback by the remark, only to turn to the older and smirk in his direction. “I see rejection hasn’t fazed your sharp tongue, Yuta-hyung.”

Yuta smirks back. “Well that’s where you’re wrong, Donghyuck-ah. You see, rather than facing rejection, I’ve been successfully directing our conversations to where he can’t outwardly reject me so that I can spare my feelings from being even more crushed than it already is.”

“... that is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“I know.” Yuta’s usual savage personality suddenly dissipates and Yuta slumps down into the chair next to Donghyuck and let’s his head fall to the table, making a small thump noise. “I’m pathetic.”

Donghyuck pats his pack supportively. “As long as you know.”

Yuta groans, pushes Donghyuck’s hand away, and gets up to looks at the younger frustratingly. “This is the part where you comfort me and tell me things that might make Taeyong love me back.”

Donghyuck clicks his tongue. “Look. If you wanted to be treated like a baby and be given a lollipop, you should’ve gone and asked Hansol and Taeil-”

Yuta pouts, but nods nonetheless, agreeing.

“-but if it’s advice you’re seeking”, Donghyuck grins, “You’ve come to the right place.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should this have been longer? I'm not sure. 
> 
> Tbh this chapter is sort of a filler leading up to their life in college and the majority of their love story will be held there. And I just needed Haechan in there. Because everybody loves Haechan. I'll try to update sooner than I did this time! 
> 
> Like always, if you see anything that needs to be fixed, please just say so!
> 
> Thank youu <3


	3. For You

Taeyong and Yuta’s university was a good two hours away from their homes which was in the suburbs.  SooMan University on the other hand, though not necessarily in the city, was like its own little town of it’s own.  The dorms and school buildings occupied much of the space while the area around it was filled with restaurants, cafes, malls, and other recreational businesses.  

 

The dorms were situated in clean white buildings a few blocks away from the school.  They were decent sized and had a nice view of the park where fraternity’s usually would have their weekly parties when they couldn’t keep it in their house.  Of course, Taeyong had wanted to dorm with Ten.  But alas, luck never seemed to be on his side as he was dormed with Yuta instead.  In which Taeyong was a bit miffed about the fact that Ten had been put with Johnny, but Yuta was his best friend and he could have been roomed with someone a lot worse (like Doyoung).

 

Taeyong sighs as they reached the parking lot outside of the dorms.  Their vacation had been a week long but it felt like only a day since they had been in university and Taeyong wishes that he had taken some of his mother’s cookies back with him.  

  
  


\---

  
  


Taeyong eyed Yuta warily, taken aback by the others behavior.  Oddly restless, Yuta seemed to be all over the place, putting what he had packed for break back to where they belonged quickly.  Yuta peeks in head into Taeyong’s room once he was finished cleaning.  “I’m done so I’m gonna go Hansol and Taeil’s dorm real quick.”

 

Taeyong only nods, as it wasn’t unusual for them to run to one of their friends dorms, being that they all happened to live in the same building.  And like Yuta, Hansol was also part of the “AnimeLovers4Ever” club.  Which consisted of just Hansol and Yuta.

 

It was only noon and because practice didn’t start till four, Taeyong decided that it wouldn’t hurt to take a nap.  He laid on the couch in their living room and rested his head on the arm ledge.  It felt nice to lay down after having to move all those bags (by himself if he may add. Yuta wasn’t strong enough to carry any).  Taeyong rested his hand on his forehead as he stared at the white ceiling.  Recalling the events that had happened at Youngho’s house, Taeyong sighs and rubs his face. 

 

It never crossed his mind that Yuta was in love with him.  There was nothing that Yuta has done for him that he wouldn’t have done for the latter and that was the basis of their relationship.  All those times that Yuta has stood by his side, all the times Yuta put up with his odd personality, those were all things that Taeyong would have done for Yuta as well right?

 

_ Right? _

 

Ten was Taeyong’s first love (well there was this one older man named Yunho that Taeyong admired when he was five but we don’t talk about that) and to be honest, Taeyong has never bothered imagining himself with someone else.  In his eyes, it has to be Ten.  And Taeyong convinces himself that that will never change.

 

Yuta was his best friend.  And in the most ideal world, despite everything that’s happened, he would continue to be so.  That’s what Taeyong hopes for.  Yuta seems to be acting normal enough and the latter is thankful for that because Taeyong wouldn’t know what he’d do if Yuta wasn’t by his side.

 

He didn’t know when or long he’d been asleep, but it didn’t feel like enough when he woke up to Yuta lightly shaking his shoulder. 

 

“Taeyongie get up.  You need to finish putting your stuff away.”  Taeyong only groans and, with his eyes closed, swiftly reaches out to seize Yuta’s small hand that woke him up.  He hears Yuta let out a small squeak and try to pull his hand away, but he doesn’t prevail as the elder pulls his hand to rest under his cheek as he tries to fall asleep again.  Yuta’s hand is soft and smells like lavender that Taeyong recognizes as the lotion from Bath & Body works that Taeyong had bought for the younger two weeks ago.  Taeyong would’ve fallen asleep again, if it weren’t for the small bumps he felt on Yuta’s fingers.  He cracks an eye open and finds four out of five of Yuta’s fingers wrapped in bandages for the world to see.  

 

Taeyong’s never gotten up so fast.  Yuta seems to notice the alarm in the elder's eyes as he guiltily tries to whip his hand away once more.  Taeyong continues to keep a firm grip nonetheless, eyeing the injured fingers with concern.

 

“What happened.”  Taeyong looks over to Yuta’s other hand, which the smaller was unsuccessfully hiding behind his back, to see those fingers bandaged as well.  Taeyong glowers and looks up to Yuta for an explanation who avoid his gaze.

 

“I uh… accidentally... fell” Yuta finishes lamely.

 

“What kind of fall did you have that you only injured your fingers!”  Yuta whines and when Taeyong lets down his guard and loosens his grip a little, he heaves backwards, nearly falling on his butt and distances himself from Taeyong, pressing his fingers to his chest defensively.  “Stop treating me like a child! Their just cuts they won’t kill me.”

 

“But-”

 

Yuta gives Taeyong that look, the “STFU or I will destroy you” look and Taeyong knows better than to argue with him because the last time Jaehyun didn’t shut up, he ended up with a sprained ankle and it took two weeks plus a $100 League of Legends RP card for Yuta to forgive him.   
  


“I still need to put away the japanese snacks my mom sent for us so”, Yuta playfully glares at Taeyong, “Get your work done, TY Track.”

 

Taeyong groans at the annoying ass nickname that was given to him by his younger brother during in middle school days, in which he went through a phase he likes to call “The Dark Days”.  Taeyong practically rolls himself into his room as he hears Yuta screeching phrases in japanese in reaction to seeing his favorite treats.  He had two bags full of clothes left, but other than that, everything was put away where they were supposed to be.  30 minutes later, when Taeyong was close to finished with one of his bags, he hears Yuta shut the cupboard and pad into his room 

 

The japanese boy rushed to Taeyong’s side, insisting that he’d help put his things away as well. Taeyong presses his hand to Yuta’s forehead.  “Are you alright?  Are you sick?”

 

Yuta looks up, confusion in his eyes and replies unsurely, “No? Why?”

 

“I mean, you’re cleaning on your own will and-”

 

Yuta pouts playfully and slaps Taeyong’s hand away.  “I’m only doing it because you  have basketball practice in two hours.”  Taeyong chuckles ruffles Yuta’s head affectionately, taking notice of  the tinge of pink that runs over the smaller boy’s cheeks.  There’s a comfortable silence that follows as the two finish cleaning, the dorm is a bit chilly (Yuta feigns innocence when Taeyong chastises him for leaving the air conditioner on) so Yuta carelessly slips on one of Taeyong’s sweaters like he always does despite the latter's protest.  They finish unpacking around three in the afternoon, an hour before Taeyong had basketball practice.  The gym where basketball practice was held was about a seven minute drive from their dorm.  But as the newly appointed vice-captain of the basketball team, Taeyong was forced to arrive 30 minutes beforehand to go over this year's activities with his coach and captain.  

 

Not only that, but it seemed as if Yuta was in a hurry for Taeyong to leave as well.

 

“You should really get going to practice.”

 

“I’ll leave in 20 minutes.”

 

“There’s traffic so I think you should just leave now.”

 

Taeyong narrows his eyes at Yuta, who was in the process of putting together his basketball bag for him near the door.  “For someone who’s in love with me, you seem awfully eager to get rid of me.”

 

The statement startles Yuta, as the boy proceeds to nearly rip the zipper off of Taeyong’s bag and stumbles over the shoes left on the floor.  Shoving the last water bottle into the side of his bag, Yuta gets up with a nervous chuckle and practically bounces over to where Taeyong is currently sprawled on their couch.  Yuta reaches over and and tugs at Taeyong’s wrists in attempt to pull the latter off the couch.  He’s unsuccessful of course but Taeyong takes pity on Yuta who was using his entire body weight in attempt to move the taller man.  Lifting his body up, he allows Yuta, who looks extremely satisfied with himself, to drag him to the door and put on his shoes,  He slumps against the wall as Yuta finishes tying his shoelaces and drags him up once again. 

 

“It’s not that I want to get rid of you”, Yuta fiddles with the hem of the shirt that Taeyong was wearing as he shyly speaks, “but I’m just trying to cheer you on.”

 

Taeyong blinks. Once. Twice. And for a second Taeyong reminisces a time where his grandmother had made him hot chocolate on a cold winter evening after he’d finished playing in the snow.  The hot liquid poured down his throat, warming his whole body and making him sigh in satisfaction.  And that feeling was similar to the way he felt now, looking down at Yuta who had bent over to grab his basketball bag that was then gently shoved into Taeyong’s waiting arms in the door frame.  

 

“Do your best today.”  Yuta’s voice passes through the closing door and leaves Taeyong just standing at the door, pursing his lips and trying to cover up a smile.  He doesn’t move until Hansol and Youngho come by, wondering why the younger was just standing there by his door.

  
  


\---

  
  


Taeyong never had an interest in playing sports, but Yuta had begged for weeks and bought Taeyong his favorite ice cream from the corner store so Taeyong couldn’t say no when Yuta asked him to join the soccer team with him at the age of seven.  While Yuta lived and breathed soccer, Taeyong was living and breathing potato chips.  So with his mother worried that he was on the verge of death at a young age and Yuta being so convincing, he went to his very first soccer practice alongside Yuta.  And to say Taeyong was bad at soccer was and understatement.  He could barely kick the ball and during practice, he was way more occupied with picking daisies in the field rather than actually trying to score.  

 

A week after his very first day, Yuta presents him with a brand new basketball.  As his way of saying  _ thank you for trying to play soccer with me _ and  _ you fucking suck at it so why not try basketball instead? _

 

Much to Taeyong’s surprise, it turns out that he’s actually pretty at basketball.  He’d won a lot of metals over the years and thanks to basketball, had become very fit.  He decided to play it through middle school, high school, and even playing in college.  

 

Taeyong feels a hand clap his back, along with a compliment on his play from the coach.  “Alright guys, go for lunch! I want you back in 30 minutes!”

 

Hansol approaches him, Youngho not far behind, and hands Taeyong a white towel which he drapes over his head. He hears Youngho mumble something about eating in the lounge and Taeyong nods as he takes a swig of water.  Hansol bumps him on his shoulder, “Youngho and I will be there after buying our food so you can go first.”

 

Taeyong’s eyebrows scrunch in confusion, “But I need to go buy food too.”

 

Hansol let’s out a laugh, “Dude. How much are you gonna eat? You’ll be too slow later on so just eat the lunch that was made for you.”  Hansol gestures towards Taeyong’s bag as he and Youngho head out towards the cafeteria.

 

Still a bit puzzled, the younger heads towards his bag that was currently in a tow with all the other bags.  He tugs it out roughly and heads to go sit on the bench.  As much as he’d like to make his own lunch, he simply had no time for it these days so he usually opted for cafeteria food.  Youngho was a usual there during lunch but it was odd that Hansol went as well as Taeil always managed to make lunch for Hansol every single practice.

 

His hands grip the zipper as he pulls lightly and unzips the top.  No lunch.

 

For a second he thinks that Hansol was just messing with him until Taeyong feels something hard outlined on the side latch of his bag.  He reaches his hand in and pulls out a box.  To be more specific, a bento box.

 

It had two layers on it and was decorated nicely with flowers and a small bird on the very front and Taeyong recalls when Yuta’s mother had sent a package for them a year ago.  It was full of japanese related things. Including two bento boxes. One for Taeyong and one for Yuta.  Taeyong used his bento box as often as he could.  His was simply a black box, Mrs Nakamoto fully knowing that Taeyong liked more simpler things.  

 

Without a doubt, this bento box belonged to Yuta.  The other was a sucker for beautifully designed things.  Taeyong felt his heart thump loudly in his chest as he opened the box-

 

-and was met with what may possibly be the most sketchy looking food he’d ever seen.

 

The rice was burnt and hard, jangjorim looking green and the kimbap was all over the place. Taeyong distinctly remembers telling Yuta never to operate in a kitchen alone, in fear that the younger may hurt himself or end up killing someone with the food he made.

 

Taeyong abruptly closes the lid, locking it shut.  He holds it tightly in his chest as he heads towards the lounge.  The food smelled quite bitter and it was obviously poorly made.

 

And trying to hide the huge smile on his face, Taeyong speeds up, eyes practically sparkling with joy because he couldn’t wait to eat it.

  
  


\---

  
  


Taeyong returns home later than usual, having agreed to hang with his teammates for a little while longer.  When he returns home, Yuta is already asleep on the couch, still with Taeyong’s sweater on and curled up. Taeyong approaches the sleeping boy, a fond look on his face and the gently brushes Yuta’s bandaged fingers.  Taeyong eyes soften at sight, as Yuta had never been good in the kitchen.

 

He kneels and kisses each finger once, ending with a kiss on the younger's forehead.  “Goodnight Yuta.”

  
  


\---

  
  


The next morning, Taeyong is oddly excited and insists on making them breakfast, also, being quite affectionate towards the younger.  Pinching his cheeks and calling him “Yukkuri” as the older cooks breakfast for him.  And Yuta quickly whips out his phone without Taeyong looking.

 

**To: Donghickey [@L.Donghyuck]**

**From: Nakamoto Yu-chan [@N.Yuta]**

I didn’t think you were being honest when you said I should cook for him but he’s pretty happy so I’ll thank you this one time

 

**Sent: 8:04, 3.10.2017**

  
  
  
  


**To: Nakamoto Yu-chan [@N.Yuta]**

**To: Donghickey [@L.Donghyuck]**

LOLOL HE LIVED?!?!?!?!

 

**Sent: 8:10, 3.10.17**

  
  
  
  


**To: Donghickey [@L.Donghyuck]**

**From: Nakamoto Yu-chan [@N.Yuta]**

Fuck you

 

**Sent: 8:19, 3.10.17**

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a bad person who didn't update for a long time :(
> 
> School caught up with me and kicked my ass but now I can write again!!! I'm so happy to be writing Yutae again <3
> 
> As always, Thank you for reading this story and if you have in comments about the story, I'm open for any!!


	4. Starting

“Okay so,” Taeil starts, “which color is better for our new curtains?”  He holds up two colors swatches and shoves them into Hansol’s face. “Snow white or Cloud white?” Hansol almost laughs, but he knows that Taeil was completely serious and that the older hated it when the younger didn’t answer his questions (no matter how ridiculous they were).  He looks over at Taeyong for assistance but the latter had turned his head completely away from the two, not wanting to get dragged into Taeil’s shenanigans.

 

“Um, babe they’re the same.” Hansol looks at Taeil with caution as the latter frowns, unhappy with his lover’s answer.

 

“Uh no they’re not,” Once again, Taeil is shoving the two color squares an inch away from Hansol’s face, as if it’d change the fact that they were the same color, “This one is the color of snow and this one is the color of a cloud.”

 

Taeyong flinches as Taeil calls his name after unsuccessfully trying to convince his boyfriend that the two colors were different. The youngest turns his head slowly, “Yes Taeil?”

 

Taeil motions to Hansol, “Will you tell him that these two colors,” he holds up the squares, “are different.”  Taeyong squints at the two square pieces, the words  _ Snow white  _ and  _ Cloud white  _ scribbled messily on the bottom left corners in pencil. “Taeil. Those are two pieces of printing paper.”

 

Hansol opens his mouth to agree but Taeil covers his mouth with his hand before he can. “No they’re not. They’re different.” Hansol rolls his eyes when Taeil looks away, but the eyes at the back of his head see anyways as he stomps ground angrily with his foot. “Don’t roll your eyes at me! This is serious! Our curtains depend on this!”

 

Taeyong lets out a laugh that immediately alternates into a cough as Taeil glares at him.  “Quick question,” Taeyong speaks up, “but who did you get those “color squares” from?”

 

Taeil blinks as if it was obvious, “Doyoung.”

 

Hansol chokes on air and Taeyong lets out a sigh.  _ Of course. _

  
  


\---

  
  


“How many times have I told you,” Jaehyun paces in front of Doyoung with a frustrated look on his face, “stop fucking with Taeil! Let Hansol live!” His lover only rolls his eyes with a nonchalant shrug. “Not my fault that Taeil believes everything I tell him.”

 

Yuta watches with amusement Jaehyun rubs his temples. Earlier when Yuta was third-wheeling the couple on their way back to dorms, they caught sight of Hansol who had ceremoniously gotten kicked out of his own dorm by Taeil after being unable to choose a curtain color.  Hansol looked accusingly at Doyoung who had the audacity to purse his lips and look all innocent.  Luckily, due to the apologizing from Jaehyun and the fact that his own boyfriends innocence (stupidity) was to blame, he just continued to sulk outside his door, waving the three off sadly.  

 

The simple fact was, Taeil was the most simple minded of their group of friends. A little too kind and a little too sweet to be hanging around someone like Doyoung who finds pleasure in messing with people.  There was this one time when Doyoung had convinced Youngho that he had asked Yuta out when they were drunk and that they were now dating. And Youngho sat Yuta down one day and held both of his hands carefully, claiming that they needed to talk about their “relationship” and starting saying shit like “It’s not you… it’s me.” Yuta punched Youngho in the face for assuming he had the right to dump him (although they weren’t really dating) and for believing in anything that came out of Doyoung’s mouth.

 

Jaehyun breaths in a big gust of air, signaling that he was about to speak again, but Doyoung just throws a pillow at him and stalks over to where Yuta was sitting at the coffee table.  He sits across from Yuta and takes the coffee cup from his hands, bringing the beige cup to his lips. Over Doyoung’s shoulder, he sees Jaehyun laying on the couch in defeat.

 

“So Yuta,” Doyoung sighs, “how’s your virgin ass doing these days?”  Yuta lets out a soft huff of annoyance, “I’m not a virgin.”

 

Doyoung laughs, “Oh yeah. I forgot that you and your hand are very sexually active these days.”

 

“Can you not,” Yuta straightens up, trying to justify himself, “stop trying to peep into my sex life.”

 

“I can’t peep into something that doesn’t exist.”

 

It’s a this point where Yuta contemplates tackling Doyoung, but suddenly Jaehyun is there with a hand over Doyoung mouth as he slides into the seat besides him.  “Now now. I’m sure Yuta-hyung is doing fine so we don’t need to pry right?”

 

Yuta nods in agreement and Doyoung huffs but settles down nonetheless.  “Seriously though. I know your “true love” for Taeyong and all, but you’re nineteen. It won’t hurt anyone just to go out there and have a little fun.”

 

“S-so what if I haven’t lost my virginity yet?” Yuta stutters out, face red and steam basically coming out of his ears from embarrassment.

 

“There’s nothing wrong with it,” Jaehyun assures, “Doyoung is just concerned for you. Isn’t that right babe?” Doyoung makes a face but nods. 

 

Yuta’s never really had much interests in fooling around with others. Unlike Taeyong who was completely and fully experienced in having “those” types of relationships. Yuta doesn’t like to call Taeyong a player because he knows that in a way, it was his way of coping with his unrequited love. Sure, it wasn’t the way Yuta would prefer him to deal with it, but if it helped Taeyong even a little, he was okay with it. And yes, to be honest, it hurt a lot. Seeing Taeyong bring home different people to let his stress out on. All people who were extremely attractive and made Yuta look like a fucking fish out of water. Yuta was average on his own standards, while Taeyong was practically a gift from god. Perfectly sculpted face with a chiseled body and oh god the way he looks after he showers-

 

“Hello?! Earth to Nakamoto Yuta? I didn’t bring up Taeyong so you could fantasize about him.” Doyoung snaps his fingers in Yuta’s face that had gazed off seemingly into nowhere. Yuta blushed as he snapped out of his daydream, leaning away from Doyoung’s knowing gaze.

 

“Anyways as I was saying before you had your wet dream ( _ It wasn’t a wet dream!),  _ you seriously need to either find someone else, or step up your game. You’re gonna die alone one day and as your friend, I have an obligation to meddle in what little love life you have.”

Yuta frowns in offense, “I will not die alone. If not Taeyong, I’ll always have Kakashi.”

 

“Quit it with your anime bullshit,” Doyoung rolls his eyes, “Since you asked so nicely, I’ll help you achieve your prince charming. They don’t call me Cupid for nothing.”

 

“They call you Cupid because you wore diapers until the age of 13.” Yuta deadpans.

 

Doyoung flushes and coughs, pushing away Jaehyun’s face of amusement, “Enough with the details,” he leans forward, “have you had any progress yet? A kiss? Blowjob?”

 

Yuta scrunches in face in scandalization as the youngest of the three rapidly tries to filter his boyfriend. “As if. It’s only been a few days. And plus-”

 

The japanese boy glances away from the couple, gloominess radiating from him, “Taeyong is in love with Ten. There’s no way he’d like me.”

 

Something hits Yuta like a wave. Sure he had confessed to Taeyong and sure, Taeyong was rejected by Ten. But Yuta knows Taeyong and he knows that the love Taeyong has for Ten was real and dedicated. One of the things Yuta loved most about Taeyong was his gaze as he looked at Ten. The older was always at his best around the Thai boy and despite the pain he felt in his chest every time he saw them together, he’d always loved seeing that side of Taeyong.

 

“Hey,” Doyoung rubs Yuta’s shoulder comfortingly, “you know that’s not true. Taeyong is just confused right now. Give him time and he’ll figure out his feelings.

 

Yuta can only nod with a sad smile on his face. The atmosphere doesn’t stay down for long though, Doyoung and Jaehyun grabbing Yuta by his two arms and pulling him to watch Spirited Away on the couch with them as they all squeeze onto their couch. 

  
  


\---

  
  


Yuta left Doyoung and Jaehyun’s place right after the movie. It was a kind gesture, but it was hard to concentrate with Jaehyun kissing Doyoung’s neck every 30 seconds or Doyoung not so secretly grabbing Jaehyun Jr.

 

When Yuta returned to his dorm, Taeyong was already home. Dressed in a tank and sweat pants, hair wet from just getting out of the shower. He was drinking a protein shake and nodded to Yuta as he took off his shoes.  “Okaeri.”

 

Yuta just rolled his eyes at Taeyong’s low quality (but very cute) japanese. “Tadaima.” He walks over to where Taeyong was standing near the fridge, avoiding eye contact with the elder and the drops of water from his hair sliding down his very toned, muscular arms.

 

Fuck Lee Taeyong and his hotness.

 

Taeyong doesn’t seem to take notice of this though as before Yuta can even reach the fridge, he’s reaching into the fridge and pulling out a small carton of banana milk that Yuta likes to drink at least once a day. He tosses it to the younger who stumbles as bit as he catches it, surprised. “How did you know I wanted to drink this?”

 

“There’s no reason for me not to know.” Taeyong shrugs as he takes a seat at their kitchen table. The answer seems to be uncalled for as Yuta mumbles under his breath about how he was not going to choose banana milk (even though he totally was). Yuta follows Taeyong to the table and takes a seat across from him. It was getting late in the evening, about half past nine. Taeyong’s phone starts to blink rapidly, vibrating on the table. He picks it up, reading the notification.

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Kang Seulgibear [@K.Seulgi]**

BITCHHH WHERE U ATT!!! U SAID U WULD BE HERE BUT U AINT! I THOUGHT WE WERE TIGHTTT

 

**Sent: 9:30pm, 3.11.17**

  
  
  
  


**To: Kang Seulgibear [@K.Seulgi]**

**From: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

Oops. I forgot. And don’t use that language it doesn’t suit you.

 

**Sent: 9:32 pm, 3.11.17**

  
  
  
  
  


**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Kang Seulgibear [@K.Seulgi]**

Don’t fucking oops me Lee Taeyong. It’s my fucking birthday party and ur not even here what kind of world do I live in that my friend doesn’t even show up. Get ur ass here.

 

**Sent: 9:33 pm, 3.11.17**

  
  
  
  


**To: Kang Seulgibear [@K.Seulgi]**

**From: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

Your birthday was last week.

 

**Sent: 9:34 pm, 3.11.17**

  
  
  
  


**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Kang Seulgibear [@K.Seulgi]**

Boi did I stutter? Be here in 20 minutes or else i’m kicking ur ass. And make sure to bring Yuta too. His phone is off so I can’t bitch at him. I know he’s just ignoring me. If you guys don’t come, I’ll hunt u down <3

 

**Sent: 9:35 pm, 3.11.17**

  
  


Taeyong sighs, leaning back into the chair as Yuta looks at him with curiosity. “What was that.”

 

“Seulgi.”

 

Yuta makes a face and diverts his eyes. Don’t get them wrong, they both love Seulgi who had been their friend ever since she’d punched Taeyong in the face in their first year of college for asking if the cafe she was working at had any coffee that was “whole grain.”

 

The only problem with the girl was that she threw the best parties. And as her single friends, Taeyong and Yuta had the obligation to attend every single one she threw. Yuta could basically hear the rest of their group of friends cackling at their demise. Every time they go to one of her parties, they wake up with a killer hangover and in some weird area. Yuta had once woken up in a pile of naked girls which scared the shit out of him.

 

After a few more texts from Seulgi, they both grudgingly drag themselves to get ready, not wanting to hear her complain like she always does when they don’t go. 

 

Taeyong is used to parties. They were ultimately no big deal for him and is just a place to have fun. Yuta on the other hand, while he didn’t hate parties, didn’t like the idea of being surrounded by drunk students who couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. 

 

“Yuta! Are you ready?” Taeyong shouts from where the door is, putting on his shoes. After going to so many of Seulgi’s parties, they had given up trying to look good anymore. Taeyong was wearing a simple white t-shirt with black jeans and a jacket. 

 

“Coming!” Yuta yells and comes stumbling into view and Taeyong chokes on his spit a little. Yuta is wearing very tight pants that hug his legs well. But Taeyong’s never really noticed that Yuta has a  _ really _ nice butt because the said boy tended to always wear baggy pants. And his shirt was white as well but his nearly translucent with the collar so low it showed his milky white skin and collar bones. It was completely different from how Yuta usually dressed to parties, very casual and conservative like. 

 

Yuta seems to notice Taeyong’s staring and raises an eyebrow, “What?”

 

Taeyong gulps, “That’s a new look isn’t it?” Yuta veers his eyes away bashfully. “Yeah. But I didn’t choose it. Seulgi texted me and told me to wear it.”

 

Taeyong’s eyes stray towards Yuta’s very full looking behind and unknowingly, he gulps, “It suits you.”

 

The japanese boy smiles, that happy smile whenever Taeyong compliments him, “Thanks Taeyongie. Now move so I can put my shoes on.”

 

Yuta bends over so that he can grab his shoes on the left side of the door, baggy shirt opening to give Taeyong a full view of Yuta’s front side. Smooth skin and all. Taeyong wants to smack himself because, A. He’s openly checking out his childhood best friend, and B. He really wants to see if Yuta’s skin is as soft as it looks. 

 

There’s a part of Taeyong that believes that the only reason he’s seeing these things now is because of the fact that Yuta did confess to him just a few days ago, but is trying to act like nothing's happened. Taeyong is grateful for that but at the same time, he wonders what else he’d never noticed about Yuta before.

 

“Yah Lee Taeyong! Stop spacing out and let’s go!” Yuta snaps his fingers in front of Taeyong’s face as Taeyong whips his eyes away from the latters skin. 

 

“My bad. Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so updating constantly is harder than I thought :(   
> I really want to update faster but I've been studying for exams but once those demons are over, I get to update as much as I want!!  
> I'm a new writer so as I've been planning out the story line, I've been wondering whether I should put a rated scene later on as the story progresses. I want to but at the same time, I'm not really sure if I can do it correctly. Tbh, I just kind wanna see dominant Taeyong in bed (I'm shameless)
> 
> Thank you for reading as always! And i'm open for any comments <3


	5. By my side

“Remember the rules,” Taeyong warns Yuta as they walk towards Seulgi’s door which was already swarmed with drunk students, “Don’t make eye contact with anyone you’ve never met, stay away from members of the hockey team, and don’t enter any rooms without me.” Taeyong and Yuta makes a face at a couple making out on the grass to their left. “You don’t know what these people will do to you.”

 

Yuta wants to roll his eyes. “I could say the same for you. For some reason, you always seem to be disappearing into rooms with people.”

 

Taeyong sputters and the latter only laughs as they enter the house. They skillfully dodge a body as it falls from the second floor and simply walk past it as the fallen man gives a weak thumbs up to the crowd.  There were so many people at the party that you would’ve assumed that it’d be hard to find Seulgi right?

 

Wrong.

 

Taeyong and Yuta didn’t even have to squint to see the girl standing on the kitchen table and handing out shots to anyone and everyone who passed by. She swung a bottle of soju around like it was a baseball bat, nearly hitting Sooyoung in the face while cackling. Seulgi was drunk, obviously, but before Taeyong and Yuta could direct themselves to the backyard where they wouldn’t be seen by her, Seulgi whipped her head in their direction, a sinister smile creeping up onto her face as she wildly leaps from the table top and hobble her way towards the two.

 

“Taeee Yuuu,” she giggles, “you shits made it.”

 

Yuta sighs. “Of course we did. We didn’t need you barging into the men’s dormitory and scaring them like last time.”

 

Seulgi only smiles and pats both of their cheeks, “smart boys.”  She leads them to the counter where she was last standing and hands them both a drink. “If you guys aren’t drunk by one in the morning, you haven’t drunk enough.”

 

She laughs maniacally as she walks away, Seungwan following close behind as they disappear into the crowd.  Yuta glances at the shots laid out for them in mild disgust. Out of the two, Taeyong had a much higher tolerance for alcohol, but even Taeyong wasn’t fond of getting drunk. The two share an exasperated look, both downing their first shot at the same time. The alcohol burns it way down Taeyong’s throat in a satisfying yet enigmatic way. Yuta downs his too, sighing as he feels it churn in his stomach. 

 

“Taeyong!” a gruff voice appears as an arm swings itself around Taeyong’s shoulders, “I didn’t know you would be here.” The tall man acknowledges Yuta with a nod and wide smile and Yuta can’t help but smile back. “Hi, Chanyeol-hyung.”

 

Yuta hears Taeyong mumble a greeting as the older continues to smother him, looking more like he was choking him. “Anyways,” Chanyeol starts, “there are these girls over there who want to meet you and be “friends” if you get what I mean.” the giant wiggles his eyebrows suggestively and shakes Taeyong. The latter only rolls his eyes and shoves him away. “Thanks for the offer but I’m here with Yuta and-”

 

“Well Yuta wouldn’t mind right?” Chanyeol turns to grin at Yuta who looks away uncomfortably. Would Yuta mind?  _ Of course _ Yuta minds. But if he said that in front of Taeyong, he may think that Yuta was controlling and possessive. Which made no sense because Taeyong didn’t even belong to him. 

 

Yuta avoids Taeyong’s sharp gaze and quickly responds, “I wouldn’t mind.” Taeyong looks confused and reaches out to the younger, but Chanyeol tightens his chokehold and drags his fellow basketball player away. Yuta can only stare as the two approach a group of girls in the far corner. As Taeyong enters into the group, one of the girls immediately latches her paw onto Taeyong’s muscular arm.

 

A wave of grief rushes over Yuta, he’s seen this scene before and he knows that tonight, he’ll go home alone. _ I should probably find a ride back so he can drive home tomorrow. _  The japanese male crosses over the room to where Seulgi was still handing out shots. He’s sure that if he asks nicely and offers some sort of food, Joohyun-noona would definitely give him a ride back. And if not, Yuta probably needs that exercise anyways 

 

But before he can reach Joohyun, who was in the middle of a lap dancing competition, Seulgi catches up to him and hands him another shot, which in normal circumstances, he would refuse. But he needed to get his mind off Taeyong who was obviously having a better night than him, so he eagerly took the shot off Seulgi’s hand and downed it. After all, what can go wrong?

 

 

\---

 

 

It had been a while, but Taeyong felt the familiarity of the gazes of complete strangers and close touches that the surrounding girls initiated.  There were four girls total and Taeyong could see why Chanyeol, who was usually very picky when it came to girls (probably because he actually likes a certain senior in the choir club) and almost always veered away from them during parties, had actually bothered to approach them.  Taeyong likes to compare the groups of girls to hyenas sometimes. It was as if they’re eyes were glowing and they were about to pounce on him and eat him (not that he minded). 

 

“So Taeyong,” one of the girls tugs Taeyong to the side and begins to talk to him separately, “Do you have any plans for the rest of the night?” Rather than a question, it sounds more like a suggestion as the girl Taeyong blurrily remembers as Nahyun or Namin or something like that runs her fingers across Taeyong’s arms. 

 

To be completely honest, it feels nice to have attention like this. He’s spent so long chasing after someone who would never love him back that when complete strangers look at him with lustful longing, it makes him feel special in a way. And this girl is pretty. Big eyes and long brown hair. Full lips and a nice body to pair along, she’s one of the prettier girls that Taeyong has been with.

 

When she tugs Taeyong away, he doesn’t refuse and quickly follows her up the stairs into one of Seulgi’s many empty bedrooms (the girl was loaded af) and chuckles as the girl immediately latches her lips over Taeyong’s, wrapping her arms around Taeyong’s neck. 

 

The girl tastes of whiskey and soju and Taeyong can tells she’s drunk by the way she doesn’t really kiss, but instead seems to be trying to eat him or something.  So Taeyong detaches his lips from hers and opts to push her down onto the bed instead, hovering over her and reaching under her shirt as she palms him. She aggressively tugs at his pants and gasps as Taeyong latches his lips onto her slim neck. She sighs and starts to unbuckle Taeyong’s pants in messy, quick movements and pulls Taeyong up into another kiss as he now familiarizes with her breasts.

 

“Come on. I want it,” the girl pants. She swiftly removes her skirt and leans back onto the bed, waiting. There’s lust in her eyes, but if Taeyong tries hard enough, he could pretend that he’s being stared at with love and desire. 

 

_ One sided love sucks _ , Taeyong thinks.  _ I know that better than anyone. _  And in one swift movement, he’s on top of her, biting his lips, ready to devour. 

 

As he leans down to remove the last barrier, the house shakes a little, the sound of thunder echoing through the household.

 

_ Oh,  _ Taeyong thinks.  _ There’s a thunderstorm. _

 

 

\---

 

 

When that first sound of thunder hit, shit went down. 

 

Yuta was having the time of his life (Hint: sarcasm). The room was tilted and his face flushed, but at the moment he couldn’t really think and simply just didn’t care. Even if he was tearing up like a baby. Drunk or not, Yuta could distinguish the sound of thunder from a mile away. It was loud and sounded like it was chasing after him. His astraphobia stems from a night when he was young in which his mother left him and his father on his own for another.  He cried for her for hours but the ongoing thundering drowned out his cries, only seeming to mock him as he watched his mother drive away. His father calls him delusional. Yuta can’t help but think so too.

 

“Yah Yuta,” Seungwan rapidly wipes away his tears with tissues as she fusses, “Stop crying okay? You want an ice cream cone? Another shot of patron?”  Yerim lightly smacks Seungwan in the arm. “He’s crying and drunk and you’re offering him more alcohol?”

 

Seungwan only huffs continues to wipes Yuta’s tears. Yuta’s piss drunk but there’s still a small part of him that wonders why someone like Yerim was here at a college party when she’s underage. But then again, she’s chugging Kapri Sun and only gives Yuta a peace sign when he looks at her questionably.  _ Ok then. _

 

Thunder claps again and Yuta nearly falls out of the chair he was sitting in. Though it could barely be heard through the music, Yuta presses his eyes together, an attempt to keep in the tears. Yuta usually doesn’t cry during storms anymore but the alcohol in him screams emotionally dysfunctional.

 

The thunder continues and Yuta is scared. He’s so fucking scared and for some odd reason, he craves condolence because for the past few years, he’d never actually been alone during a thunderstorm. 

 

Because there’d been Taeyong.

 

Blood rushes in Yuta and his body longs for Taeyong’s comfort. “Seungwan… I want Taeyongie. I miss Taeyongie.”

 

_ You sound so dumb right now shut up _ , is what Yuta tells himself in his head but his mouth just keeps running. “Where is he?”

 

The look on Seungwan’s face is priceless, seeing Yuta in such a vulnerable state and watching him call for Taeyong over and over again. Of course, she’s knows Yuta loves Taeyong, but seeing him openly express it was new. Even when he was drunk.

 

She wishes she had her camera so she could use it as blackmail but decides otherwise when Yerim gives her a look. 

 

“Sorry Yuta. I don’t know where he is.” This only makes Yuta frown more as he stands up rapidly and declares “I’m going to go find him!”

 

Yuta stumbles as he runs and Seungwan wonders if she should follow him. She looks back at Yerim who only shrugs. “It’s not our problem. In truth, it’s Taeyong’s.”

 

So Yuta continues, stumbling into walls and knocks down one of Seulgi’s vases along the way. He tugs on the sleeves of strangers and tearfully asks if they’d seen Taeyong. Some ignore him and others give him sarcastic answers. All in all, Yuta’s pretty sure he’s been asking the same people four times in a row but he doesn’t care. He just wants to find Taeyong.

 

“Excuse me,” Yuta softly tugs on a dark blue sleeve, “Have you seen Taeyongie?”  The guy in question turns around and the first thing that Yuta notices is that he’s fairly good looking (not as much as Taeyong of course) and that for the first time since Yuta’s started his little journey to find Taeyong, he’s the first person to give his full attention to Yuta.

 

The guy smile charmingly and replies, “Uh, I haven’t but if you’re here alone, you could always join me.”

 

The group of guys that he’s with snickers and Yuta scrunches up his nose in confusion, “But your names not Taeyong.”

 

He throws his head back and laughs, “No it’s not. It’s Hosung but I’m sure you’d like hanging out with me as much as you would your ‘Taeyongie’ person.”

 

_ Uh no, definitely not _ , Yuta thinks. But there’s a strong hand wrapped around his waist and his chest is being flushed against a bigger, muscular body. There’s another crank of thunder and reflexively, Yuta whimpers buries his face in Hosung’s chest. He feels the taller echo with laughter. “Aw. Looks like someone’s afraid of thunder.” Yuta’s shaking and a bit too gone, so when Hosung offers to take Yuta somewhere where he claims that thunder can’t be heard, the japanese boy immediately agrees.

 

He’s dragged along like a doll through hallways and down the steps into Seulgi’s basement and into a spare room that looked kind of like a theater. Multiples chairs and couches with a big tv screen and sound proof walls.

 

“See,” Hosung spreads his arms, “No thunder.”  And sure enough, the sounds of the thunder was blocked by the walls and Yuta sighs in relief, tripping over himself due to the lightheadedness and onto a large couch in the way back. Hosung seats himself next to Yuta, a bit close for Yuta’s liking but Yuta can’t really comprehend the hand that laid itself onto his thigh, rubbing it slowly. 

 

“So why are you so afraid of thunder?” Hosung asks, edging closer as Yuta purses his lips, humming to himself.

 

“Just cause.” Hosung only nods, fixated on the lips in front of him that seemed to be just inviting him in. “Must’ve been hard for you, being alone when you were scared.”

 

“Yeah, it was.” Yuta answers and he feels himself start to sweat as his eyes gloss over. He’d never been good at holding his alcohol.

 

Hosung reaches up and puts his hand behind Yuta’s neck, and seeing that he doesn’t pull away, her pulls Yuta closer. “Well don’t you worry. I’ll take good care of you.”

 

“The hell you will.”

 

Yuta’s startled out of his little cloud of drunkenness and turns to the right from where the sound came from. Only to be met with his seething best friend.

 

“Woah dude,” Hosung leans back, “Can’t you see we’re in the middle of something?” 

 

This only seems to piss of Taeyong even more because stalks over and rips Hosung away by his collar, pinning him to the back of the sofa. “Keep your fucking hands off him and if I ever see you near him again, I’ll beat the shit out of you. Understand?”

 

Hosung holds his hands up in surrender, “L-look. I didn’t know he was taken. That’s my bad.” 

 

Taeyong only growls and roughly lets go of his collar. “You’re fucking right its your bad. Now leave.”

 

Hosung gets up with haste, nearly running into the doorframe on his way out.  Taeyong turns to Yuta who’s looking at him wide eyed, lips trembling. “Why’d you do that?”

 

Taeyong groans because he knows Yuta’s drunk and rubs his temples. “What do you mean why’d I do that? Didn’t you know what he was going to do to you!”

 

“He was protecting me from the thunder.”

 

“He was protecting you- what-.”

 

“Because I was scared,” Yuta pulls his knees up to his chest, “I was scared because you weren’t with me.”

 

Yuta buries his face into his knees, tears threatening to fall from his eyes.  _ Damn you alcohol. Making me emotional mess.  _

 

Taeyong watches and is rendered silent as he hears Yuta sniffle in his arms and is hit with a wave a guilt.  _ Yeah good job Lee Taeyong you done fucked up once again. _

 

“I missed you.” Taeyong hears Yuta’s voice through his tears. “I really missed you.”  And Taeyong’s heart just melts and his best friend looking so small and vulnerable and approaches Yuta with gentle steps. He softly reaches forward and cups Yuta’s face, pulling it out from his knees. 

 

And he kisses him.

 

Taeyong doesn’t know why but he does. It’s not a deep, lustful kiss. But a soft and fluttery one as Taeyong uses his thumbs to wipe away Yuta’s tears.

 

The kiss only lasts a few seconds and when Taeyong pulls away, he immediately buries Yuta’s face into his shoulder, not ready to see the look on the younger's face.

 

And it’s not until he hears Yuta’s soft snores that he moves, carrying Yuta into the passenger seat of his car and driving them back to their shared dorm, the dawning heat never leaving Taeyong’s face.

 

When they get back to the dorm, Taeyong immediately lays Yuta in his bed, the latter sleeping like a rock and mumbling in his sleep. Taeyong then walks out into the living room, throwing himself onto the couch and burying his face in his hands.  _ God damn it. _

 

 

\---

 

 

Oh. And Taeyong also got a text from Chanyeol later on.

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

Dude what did you do to Nahyun? She came downstairs super pissed off and said you left her hanging!

 

**Sent: 3:12 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

**From: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

Oh. Um. Yeah I did. Can you tell her I said sorry?

 

**Sent: 3:14 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

You gave up your chance to sleep with one of the hottest girls on campus??!? What was so important that you left Kim Nahyun in bed?

 

**Sent: 3:15 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

**From: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

Oh well it was thunderstorming and I had to go.

 

**Sent: 3:16 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

Did you just-

 

YOU LEFT KIM NAHYUN BECAUSE IT WAS THUNDERING

Oml

 

I cannot believe that you left Kim Nahyun just because it was thundering.

 

**Sent: 3:18 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

**From: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

Well I can’t believe you use your interest in hot girls and playboy personality to hide the fact that you’re in love with Baekhyun.

 

**Sent: 3:19 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT I- 

 

NEVER THATS SO DUMB.

 

**Sent: 3:20 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

YAH LEE TAEYONG DONT YOU IGNORE ME LETS GET ONE THING STRAIGHT I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH BAEKHYUN

 

**Sent: 3:21 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

LEE TAEYONG WE ARE NOT DONE HERE YOU ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW

 

**Sent: 3:22 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

**From: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

…

…

…

…

…

…

… Okay who told you

 

**Sent: 3:23 am, 3.12.17**

 

 

 

 

**To: Yeollie [@P.Chanyeol]**

**From: TY Trashy [@L.Taeyong]**

Jongdae

 

**Sent: 3:24 am, 3.12.17**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy look who finally decided to update after over 2 months of exams and volunteer work (and 2 weeks of procrastination). Does anyone know what League of Legends is? So I've been playing that a lot during the summer and procrastinating on writing the chapters but then I thought to myself that one day I'll die playing LoL but I'd much rather die writing Yutae fanfic. And trust me. Writing this chapter was so much more fun.
> 
> I'm actually writing future chapters in advance so I can just update them. Seems easier for me :)
> 
> Thank you for reading and as always, any kind of comment is accepted!


	6. ANNOUNCEMENT I'M SORRY :(

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm Trash

So I have an explanation to give to the people reading my story. I’m extremely apologetic for being unable to update all summer even though I said I would and I planned to. But after updating chapter five, I immediately starting my ACT and SAT prep classes along with volunteering at summer camps throughout my summer break. ACT and SAT prep being extremely important for me because my grades are failing me and I now am heavily relying on how I do on these tests.

 

So school starts tomorrow and I have all AP and Honors classes except for one elective which means I’ll be very busy during the school year. Tbh there’s still some summer homework I need to do. So what I’ve decided to do is put this fic on hold until I can figure out how to manage my time, switching between what I need to do for school, how to earn money, working around my parents time, along with doing things that are for me personally (like writing this story). 

 

It could take a few months or weeks or maybe I’ll end up updating by this weekend who knows. I had wanted to write chapters ahead of time just for this occasion but the best I could do was make a rough outline up to chapter ten.

 

It makes me sad that I’ll have to prioritize school over writing this story, but the bigger effort I put into it, the sooner I’ll get to return to my usual kpop fangirl ways. I apologize once again and hope that whoever had supported me on this story will understand. As a sidenote, I also started some oneshots that I may just randomly upload if I get the chance. But for now, stories of Yutate will just have to wonder aimlessly in my head.

 

P.S. 

 

This has absolutely nothing to do with what I just said, but I took three days off my classes to attend Seventeen’s Diamond Edge concert and it was probably one of the best moments of my life. I’m a HUGE Junhao shipper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also I just wanted to remind yall how much I love Yutae I really do it's all I think about


	7. Burst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuta finally grows some balls and Ten is a thief.

Yuta wakes up with the biggest head ache he has ever had. It was a pounding sensation resonating through his head with nausea.  _ This is why I don’t drink _ , Yuta grumbles to himself, pushing himself up off the bed, stumbling towards the door holding his head. Yuta opens the door and grimaces as the light shines through his door making him squint. The clock near the windows read  _ 9:42AM _ and Yuta groans because he should not be up this early on a Saturday. He finds his shoes thrown haphazardly on the door mat and Taeyong’s door cracked open an inch, the sound of gentle breaths reaches Yuta and he quietly tiptoes his way into Taeyong room.

 

There’s a familiar warmth of Taeyong’s room that Yuta can’t really understand himself. His bedsheets were the same since high school, a photo of his family and friends perched up on his desk, a giant heart plush that Yuta had given him back when they first met, and the dim but soft light of the lamp they both used to share as children when they were afraid of the dark.  It was all very nostalgic and Yuta bites his lip to keep in a laugh at the sight of Taeyong sprawled across his bed, leg hanging off one side and arm swung atop his head and resting on the headboard. 

 

Yuta shuffles over to the side of Taeyong’s bed, kneeling down and resting his head on the side near Taeyong’s. Luckily for him, Taeyong is a pretty heavy sleeper, not even moving an inch when Yuta softly brushes the tips of the elders hair out of his face. It’s been awhile since he’d gotten a good look of it but Yuta continues to be mesmerized by the latter's good looks. Sharp jaw line, long eyelashes, and lips to die for. Yuta can only sigh.

 

“I wonder if I really even have a chance with you.” Yuta lets out a pity laugh and his eyes soften as he watches Taeyong smile in his sleep. Yuta raises his body with his arms, leaning over into Taeyong’s ears and whispers into it.

 

“Lee Taeyong… I love you.”

 

Yuta’s cheeks turn a deep red color out of embarrassment for himself and he quietly groans as he shoves his face into the soft material of the mattress.  _ So pathetic. _

  
  


\---

  
  


Taeyong has a hard time getting up. Of course it’s a side effect of last night’s alcohol, but the main reason is it would blow his cover. After what had happened to night before, the elder couldn’t bring himself to face his japanese friend. Even if the latter was right next to his bed confessing his love for him.

 

He feels the weight on his bed shift and cautiously, he cracks open his eyes to see Yuta face first into his mattress quietly talking to himself and gripping at the sheets. Taeyong has to clench his teeth because he wants to smile so badly. What he feels put aside, Taeyong can’t help but relish in this new environment. Not that Yuta was different than how he usually was, but there was this side to his best friend that’d he had somehow failed to discover. Stuttering and blushing cheeks, flustered actions and a reminder that there is someone out there who loves him in that way, even if Taeyong doesn’t feel the same way about Yuta.

 

So that’s why, he feels like absolute shit for what happened last night. Taeyong wants to blame the alcohol but he knows it’s not true. What prompted him to kiss the younger wasn’t alcohol but flushed cheeks and eyes clouded with tears that seemed to have been begging him to stay. Soft hands gripping at his t-shirt and plump pinks lips that were only inches away from his own. And Taeyong had felt on fire in that moment. He wanted to whisk Yuta away for himself so no one would ever see that side of Yuta. All of his walls down, scared and near helpless. 

 

Taeyong shifts a bit in bed in attempt to scare the latter away. And to his luck, it does startle Yuta, who bites his lips to keep his voice down, eyes in a frenzy. His weight still on the bed, he carefully lifts himself up and sort of just rolls around on the floor as if the situation were a spy movie and Taeyong quietly chokes down a laugh. He also bumps his head on the door frame on his way out but Taeyong pretends not to notice.

 

A sigh of relief is let out as the door shuts behind Yuta and Taeyong opens his eyes, mind still set on a pair of pink lips as he gets on his knees and prays.

 

_ Lord forgive me for my sins. _

  
  


_ \--- _

  
  


Youngho and Ten’s room was a floor above theirs on the same floor as Jaehyun and Doyoung’s. Their door was decorated with a variety of stickers from a small little basketball sticker, to a pair of black dance shoes just like the ones Ten owned. And the more Yuta looked at it, the more he wanted to run right back to his dorm and hide under his blankets, successfully shutting himself out from the rest of the world and not having to face the fact that he’d been avoiding Ten for the past two weeks. 

 

Yuta held absolutely no resentment for Ten in anyway. It wasn’t his fault that Taeyong fell in love with him after all. But even so, Yuta had felt as if there was this underlying aura of awkwardness that followed Taeyong’s confession, for Ten wasn’t dumb and knew of Yuta’s feelings for Taeyong (seriously, Taeyong was the only who couldn’t figure it out).  But Ten had texted him earlier to see Yuta could go over to pick up Taeyong’s water bottle that Youngho had picked up after practice because the other had left it there. Yuta was half tempted to just ignore the text, but he didn’t want to come off as mean and he missed Ten. Despite the all the Taeyong drama, Yuta felt as if he matched with Ten the best personality wise. They had kept a close friendship all these years, Yuta was afraid to lose it. 

 

So he knocks five times for good measure, hands shaking out of fear and anticipation. He hears a crash from inside and some swearing. There’s a thump on the door as if someone had run into it and the door handle shakes messily before opening and revealing Ten who unbeknownst to Yuta, mirrors his expression.

 

“Hi.”

 

“Hey.” 

 

They stand there for a good few seconds just kind of rubbing their fingers and scratching their necks until another student comes and yells at Yuta to move out of the middle of the hallway so that they can fit their stuff through.  If it wasn’t for Ten’s gesture to come inside, Yuta would’ve smacked the stranger for his rude tone. 

 

There’s something oddly relaxing about the way Ten decorates his dorm. Polaroids are strung across the walls and small bright lights adorn the the creases of the ceiling. There are pairs of many, ranging from matching mugs set on the kitchen table, a set of pillows that each have half a heart on them, to slippers laid aimlessly on the rug. Both with the same pattern, just different sizes. And the color of the room is warm, soft reds and mellow oranges. It reminded Yuta of a room of a girl on Tumblr. Just more real.

 

“Um,” Ten starts, the awkward tension that surrounds the two is suffocating and Yuta wants to crawl in a hole and never come out. “I know you came to pick up Taeyong’s water bottle but do you maybe want some tea?” Ten stumbles over his words a bit. “I have Earl Grey. You like Earl Grey right?”  Yuta can only nod dumbly, not knowing what to say, he wordlessly follows Ten into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table. The tea comes surprisingly quick, as in Ten literally just grabs two cups off the counter and rushes them over to Yuta. And contrary to what Yuta expected, the tea was still piping hot.

 

Ten takes a seat across from him and Yuta feels as if it had been forever since he’d seen the Thai boy. Straight black hair that reached a little above his eyes, twinkling eyes, a lean and slender figure as a result of his love for dance, and a blindingly beautiful smile that even though was not on Ten’s face at the moment, was fresh in Yuta’s mind. Ten could easily be someone that maybe even Yuta would’ve fallen in love with, had it not been for Taeyong. And there’s a growing pit in Yuta’s stomach that tells him if not now, it may be a while before he gets to courage to talk to Ten.

 

“So-”

 

“How’s-”

 

Yuta’s voice dies in the back of his throat and Ten chokes back his sentence, the both of them startled. And before Yuta can even retaliate, Ten speaks up. “You can go first.”

 

Nodding, Yuta gulps and asks, “How’s Youngho… and you know…” Yuta makes a weird gesture with his hands but Ten seems to get the message anyways.

 

“Oh it’s been great. He’s great.” Ten starts, and Yuta just has to smile because despite the caution in his voice, Ten’s eyes light up and his expression softens.

 

“Just liked you’d always imagined?” Yuta raises his eyebrows.

 

Ten hums in agreement but stops suddenly. “I didn’t expect his obsession with Justin Bieber though. He has a cardboard cutout and everything.”

 

Yuta almost drops his tea. It clanks harmlessly onto the tabletop but Yuta is far too gone. Laughter escapes past his lips and comes tumbling out, intermixing with Ten’s who had also thrown his head back in laughter. Yuta pictures Youngho’s room. There would be pictures of Ten and their group, a laundry basket with no clothes in it because they were on the floor, a bed with a frame older than Taeil’s jokes, glow in the dark stick on stars on his ceiling, and the crown jewel, JB himself in the corner of his room. 

 

Oh lord Yuta was going to die.

 

The laugh dies down after a while, a twinkle in Ten’s eyes that remain and Yuta wonders if they could put everything behind them and go back to the way they used to be. 

 

“So uh, I heard that you’ll be playing on the soccer team soon.”

 

Yuta pauses and furrows his eyebrows. The past few weeks had been so hectic for Yuta that he’d completely forgotten the promise he’d made to Minho before they’d left for break. For a split second he remembers three empty bag of potato chips that he’d eaten while watching One Piece the other night. 

 

Ten looks on, expecting. “Uh yeah actually,” says Yuta, meeting Ten’s gaze, “I wasn’t going to but Minho hyung is very convincing.” Yuta scratches his neck awkwardly as Ten just nods, the thickening aura of discontempt re fills the room and Yuta starts to panic. If things aren’t fixed now, who knows when they ever will be?

 

“Ten I’m so sorry.”

 

Ten’s widens his eyes in mild confusion as Yuta fiddles with the mug in front of him. “I didn’t mean to avoid you for the past two weeks but.. I.. uh”

 

Yuta gulps, words dying in his throat because he knows it was a lie. He had avoided Ten because he scared. Scared that he’d be pitied, scared that he may say something rude and crumble in front of the person who’d he’d envied for the longest time. God he’d been so scared. 

 

“It’s just the thing with Taeyong… it’s stupid really. There was no reason to stop talking to you and I’m sorry because you never did anything wrong and it was never your fault that he loves you and-” Yuta bites his tongue and stops short in his sentence, not wanting to finish it. 

 

Ten doesn’t respond for a while, just staring at the elder, eyes wide and mouth agape as if Yuta just told him the biggest secret ever. And still with a shell shocked face, Ten timidly asks, “So you don’t hate me?”

 

Yuta grimaces at the thought shakes his head rapidly. “No no no I could never.”

 

Ten almost falls out of his chair as he leans back. “Oh thank god. I thought you hated me and was never gonna talk to me again which is why I specifically ordered Earl Grey tea just for you because I know that you like it and then I also went through the trouble of stealing Taeyong’s water bottle which is really hard because it’s difficult not to be seen during practice you know and-”

 

“Woah,” Yuta holds his hands up, “Chill Ten. One at a time plea- you stole Taeyong’s water bottle?!”

 

Ten bites his lips. “No?”

 

“.....Ten.”

 

“Maybe?”

 

Yuta only rolls his eyes with a fondness that he’d missed. Its as if the room gets a little warmer, and Ten invites Yuta onto the couch so they can watch chick flicks like they always do. They don’t speak about the Taeyong situation anymore, figuring that what needed to be said had been said. Ten and Yuta cuddle together under a warm blanket, their legs interlacing and Ten rests his head on Yuta’s shoulder. Youngho arrives an hour into  _ The Notebook _ and pouts as he finds the two cuddled up on his couch. 

 

“It’s only been a few weeks and Ten’s already cheating on me.”

 

The pair on the couch can only laugh and as Youngho walks past to go shower, he ruffles Yuta’s hair affectionately and throws a “Missed ya” over his shoulder. Yuta grins, “I missed you too, Youngho-ah.”

 

At the end of the movie, Ten is still in tears and Youngho pretends that he has dust in his eyes. Yuta and Ten agree to “study” together for the upcoming biology test as Yuta says goodbye on the doorstep.

 

“Yuta wait!” Ten calls after him. “You forgot Taeyong’s water bottle!”

 

Yuta yells over his shoulder with a smile. “Give it to him yourself!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lmao guess who's failing AP Biology and basically every other AP class I have. BTW, I cut this chapter short because I'm actually supposed to be writing a paper but I had feels
> 
> Hansol left :( But I will not be removing him from the story nor will it keep me from writing fanfics about him and Taeil. When I first discovered them as SMRookies, Hansol and Taeil were actually my very first ship, even before Yutae. Support Hansol on The Unit! <3
> 
> Thank you for reading !


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